Funny Phrases

This post contains funny phrases that are good for kids and senior citizens and all in between.

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Funny Jokes For Kids

Veterans Joke When I took my school-age daughters to a lunch with veterans, I told them to ask questions. One of the men said he’d fought in the Korean War, and the girls were so impressed that the eldest wanted to know more: "Did you fight for the North or the South?" Class Joke My five-year-old nephew has always happily answered to BJ. That ended when he came home from his first day of school in a foul mood. It seems his teacher took roll, and he never heard his name. "Why didn’t anyone tell me my name was William!?" he complained. Daughter Joke Our six-year-old daughter, Terra, has a need to ask questions … lots of questions. Finally, one day, my wife had had it. "Have you ever heard that curiosity killed the cat?" my wife asked. "No," replied Terra. "Well, there was a cat, and he was very inquisitive. And one day, he looked into a big hole, fell in, and died!" Terra was intrigued: "What was in the hole?" Mother Joke I...
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Really Funny Jokes

Wife Joke “Why do you look so sad?” “I wanted to drown my worries but my wife didn’t want to go in the water.” Guy Joke I heard that it is easier to find a girlfriend when you have things in common. So girls, I like to breath. Uniform Joke I heard women love a man in uniform. Can’t wait to start working at McDonalds. Woman Joke You really are the most jealous woman I know. Oh, so you know lots of other women, do you?! Car Joke My car horn now sounds like gunshots. People move out of the way much faster recently. Fridge Joke If we shouldn’t eat at night, why do they put a light in the fridge? Politician Joke It is so cold outside I saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets. Grandpa Joke “Mom, can I play with grandpa?” “No, you just leave him hanging until the police comes.” Dirty Joke What is agony? You are a one-armed man hanging off a cliff. Suddenly your butt starts to itch. Postman Joke Famous last words of a postman: What a lovely dog you have! Cleaning Jo...
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Funny sms

We’ll we’ll we’ll, and if it isn’t the Autocorrect. 5 and 2 had an argument. 2 1 Fun fact Did you know that when you take all the nerves from a human body and align them so they’re forming a straight line, you’ll end up in jail for a really, really long time? What do you get when you wake up on a workday and realize you ran out of coffee?  A depresso. I used to breed rabbits. Then I realized they can handle it themselves. Google request: How to disable autocorrect in wife? Why are eggs not very much into jokes? Because they could crack up. What do you call the soft tissue between a shark's teeth? A slow swimmer. I went to see the doctor about my short-term memory problems. The first thing the rascal did was made me pay in advance. Does your horse smoke? No. Well, then I think your stable is burning. What are a shark’s two most favorite words? Man overboard! “Waiter, the steak is smelling very strongly of liquor!” The waiter backs up 3 steps and asks, “How’s that ...
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